It's not about laughing at the annoying things in life, it's about laughing with them

We can all think of awesome things that happen in life. But unfortunately, we seem to remember more vividly the not so awesome things. This is an experiment - to try and recall the not so awesome things that we have become all too familiar with, grumble while saying to yourself "Oh that totally happens to me like all the time! I hate when that happens!", and then laugh a little, because, in the end, it's just a not-so-awesome thing right? Let me know what you think, and feel free to add your not so awesome things as well! ENJOY
-Apple Jew

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Not So Awesome Thing #6 - The Most Awkward Encounter in the World

Yes, The Most Awkward Encounter in the World.

You run into a friend who you haven't seen in a while but remember how well you got along with them back in the day. Suddenly you faintly remember hearing that this friend of yours got engaged - and you haven't congratulated them for it yet! Perfect! Not only do you get to say hi and catch up, but you can be the great friend you wished you had always been by sounding like you have a clue about their personal life despite being apart all these months/years!

(ya, you might already know what's coming)

In a rush of excitement you blurt out "Hey buddy! long time no see! By the way - congratulations on the engagement!!!! So exciting!!!"

You don't notice that your friend starts to hesitate, look at everything else in the room but your face, and lose any color that ever existed in their's.

You drag it out a little more "it must be so exciting! you've waited so long for this!! When's the wedding date? Do you have a hall reserved yet? What band are you getting? Will there be multiple carving stations? open bar? sushi? Tellme tellme tellme!!!!"

Just then, your friend unleashes the most unholy of replies. A response I wish upon no one, and yet, an answer that seems unavoidable to most. Four words that no man or woman ever want to hear in any context.

(you knew it was coming)

 "Uh...we broke the engagement."

"......(silence)........(more silence)...."

"Oh."    "Oh God."

The 3 and 1/2 minutes you just spent trying to score brownie points with an old friend have just instantly turned into the most awkward moments of your recent memory. You look for a tucked away area in your immediate proximity, hoping that your friend will suddenly get distracted, allowing you to run and hide until he/she leaves the area. You consider responding "uh, wait...who are you again? I don't think we've ever met." in hopes your friend will get totally confused and walk away. But in reality, there's no use getting around it. It's here, and it's very real. All aboard the awkward train. Destination: you.

not. awesome. at all.

p.s. The same story but with marriage/divorce instead of engagement/unengagement increases the awkwardness by around 40,000%.  People - when you're trying to score points by bringing up things in peoples' personal lives with them, make sure you actually know their personal lives. Any guessing or assuming in this situation should be done with extreme caution. Be smart here, or you will be the only citizen of the town of awkwardville. Consider yourself warned.

p.p.s You may be reading this and thinking "how can you honestly feel bad for mr. awkward when it's his unengaged friend who has to live with that embarrassing moment for days/week/months afterwards?! To that I're right. But still. You can be happily engaged, married, or Chinese for all I care - but if you try and give someone a big ol' mazel tov only to have the broken engagement bomb dropped on you, it's not awesome. Not awesome at all. Good luck out there.

1 comment:

  1. Dude, that happens to me on a daily basis. It comes to the point that you never want to wish anyone a mazal tov ever!! even having a kid it isn't a safe bet that everything is OK.